A Teaspoon of Sugar
by xXxDarkKiiyukoxXx
Summary: When his patience hits the limit, what will he do? What if it's the same for the other? These two just can't keep their hands off each other. Collection of various rated drabbles, oneshots and all in between. Rated M for lemony chapters.
1. Where it All Begins

Hey there! Thanks for reading this, it's just something I'm going to be working on fromt time to time! The ratings for each oneshot/drabble will be different. Hehe, well enjoy!

Disclaimer: I'll never own TWEWY... Unless I become the owner of Squeenix... -sigh-

* * *

"-don't you think, dear?"

The smaller teen blinked in surprise, what did he just say? Neku didn't want Joshua knowing that he was spacing out again. The boy shrugged, unable to look the Composer in the eye.

Whoever thought that they can hide something from Yoshiya Kiryu was wrong. Those mystical lavender eyes sank into Neku's, a sly grin sliding across his face. "Oh, is that so?" He pressed further, "One decision can change your future, even a single crystal of sugar. Add too much sugar, and it will be too sugary to eat; don't add enough and it will taste bland, bitter or even spicy. Food changes our mood, dear." Joshua was now pacing around the small marble kitchenette.

"See, if you don't measure right,you'll be in a bad mood and things just feel worse, correct?" He bent over, leaning against his elbows on the smooth counter top, his chin rested on his hands. Neku nodded along with every word, finally paying attention. "But if there's the right amount, it will taste amazing, and make you be in a good mood.." His smirk was cheeky, he hoped Neku would get it now. "If there is incorrect measuring, sometime it will make you think things that aren't... true. Such as; you're a horrible cook, or maybe you feel like you wasted your time making a failed dish. That's why we have to think of all the factors."

Neku's eyes widened, and his cheeks flushed, "So your saying that sugar is like _sex_? Have it too much, and you think you're being used. Don't have enough and you'll feel distant... are you saying-"

A soft giggle escaped the silverette, "I wasn't talking about our _sex life._.. unless you want to sweeten it some more~" The Composer trailed to the back of the café. Neku grumbled, that wasn't exactly it. "I was originally talking about my job Neku, if you don't recall. All the decisions that I made had led me to here. And all these factors made it so. You had said that you don't know if it's that fascinating, like I asked." He spoke matter-of-factly while grabbing two House Blends that Sanae had left them a few moments ago. "My, I wouldn't mind if we did add more sugar."

Neku didn't say much, he was embarrassed that Joshua was continuing this! First of all, he didn't want to continue this conversation, and this wasn't the reason why there were here.

**"I do have a bit of a sweet tooth, Nekky."**


	2. Sweet Lemony Goodness

Warning; My attempt at a lemon.

* * *

The heat rushed to Neku's cheeks, while Joshua teasingly bit on his neck. It was just a nibble, but it sent a tingling sensation down the ginger's spine.

He found his fingers twirling silver locks and holding the Composer there, this caused Josh to nibble more and lightly suckle on Neku's collarbone. "A-ah." He moaned out, gripping tighter Joshua's hair.

He hummed in response, lowering his body on his uke. Neku whimpered, the need for his counterpart increased. The sexual tension between them was building up. The ginger felt like he would explode sometime soon, he needed to be satisfied right away.

"Mmm, be patient, dear." His hands trailed to Neku's chest, twirling shapes against his J of the M tshirt. Neku's breath hitched, and the Composer smiled, "Excited, are we? Heehee, I will fix that in due time, but I don't know _if you can handle that much sugar_."

Neku rolled his eyes, did he really have to keep brining up the sugar talk? It clearly was a misinterpretation. "**Pour some sugar on me, in the name of love~?**" A song reference that Joshua knew all too well. He felt that Neku was trying to make him give in...

Yoshiya Kiryu _never_ loses any game- even if it's for pleasure. He giggled softly, pulling back from Neku. Forcefully, he grabbed the ginger and their mouths met in a sloppy kiss with tongue. The younger felt like Joshua was going to kill him with this teasing. Abruptly, Joshua broke the kiss, and lowered Neku's head to his lower regions. "You know what to do, if you want a reward~" The Composer sang.

Neku didn't think twice of taking Josh's cock in his mouth. Stiff, long and his favorite toy... His sapphires closed immediately and his tongue swirl around the head of the demigod's member. Joshua hummed with satisfaction, enjoying the warmth and slickness he felt. But it wasn't enough.

While Neku was sucking away, Joshua pushed his head down, engulf more of his dick. He purred more, playing with the orange locks. Neku obeyed, bobbing his head up and down quickly, sucking strongly. His pumps were slow, just as Joshua liked it- not rushing to their climax but not taking too much time. "God Neku," He growled in pleasure, rising to his knees. "This must be a pain, hm?" As his uke lay, J bent over and popped Neku's cock into his mouth.

It's not that it was weird, he had gave Neku blowjobs before- even at school when his dear, dear Proxy needed release badly. He licked up and down his shaft, caressing where he couldn't reach as well. Neku moaned, but didn't remove his mouth from Joshua's erect penis.

The silverette blew lightly on Neku's member, causing the boy to shiver. He pulled Neku's bodys closer, and the ginger quit sucking as he was now facing something new. "So you want to play that way?" Neku smirked, grabbing onto the Composer's balls, sucking one at a time.

"Nngh, Neku!" Yoshiya was caught off guard. He had to admit, Neku had gotten better. Wanting to up the ante, he raised Neku's back end, grabbing both beautiful pale ass cheeks and spreading them. Neku felt a draft back there, but then it turned warm and wet. It was even prodding him a little.

With a sly smirk, he continued to dig in. Neku's entrance was already slick enough for him to fuck, but he wanted to tease his Proxy more. Josh poked his tongue inside of Neku, he liked the feeling of Neku's muscles already constricting his tongue.

Neku gasped, and pleaded, "Ohh, mooore. Josh, please!" His eyes were half-lidded, already drowned in lust. "I need you!"

Joshua pulled away, making a popping sound, "Oh?" He let Neku lay flat again, "Need me to what exactly, dear?" Being the sly fox he was, the Composer reluctantly removed himself from where he was kneeling, and stood at the end of the bed, stroking himself.

The ginger whimpered and pouted. "You know what I want, just gimme it!" Though his cheeks were red, Lustful!Neku didn't feel embarrassed at all.

The silverette tilted his head. "Give it to you? Give what?" He smirked, "_I only give creamy fuckings~_"

The uke nodded desperately, hooking his legs around Joshua's waist and pulled him forward, "Mmmm yeah, fuck me Josh. Fuck me hard and long! Make me cum! Give me all your love~!" His phrases came out in long breaths, each pause between them. It was more of a demand than anything. He bucked his hips, making Josh's head prod against his entrance. "Oh god!"

Lustful!Neku was a handful, Josh had said before. He grinned, rubbing the tip in a circular motion. Neku arched his back begging for more, "Please, Josh!" The Composer complied, entering him slowly. Neku mewled in delight. The sensation was wild, tingling Neku's spine and making his nerves go crazy.

Steady amethyst eyes met with the pleading eyes of sapphire.** So it begins...**

Joshua pumped in and out of Neku, but he didn't thrust so much that he would leave the ginger's hole. Said boy groaned in bliss. The amazing feeling hit him again and again, this was what he waited for. The pale boy's legs hadn't let go of the older, he thrusted his hips in sync and both boys moaned.

The Composer was breathing heavily, trying to pleasure Neku with the best of his ability as human. If he had unsheath his feathery wings, he was afraid that it would be an overload of power. Thus, Joshua kept them sealed.

Neku liked this far too much, he knew that when he calmed down, he would be severely embarrassed- but he was so caught up in the moment. Having a slick object being pumped down there felt wonderful, there wasn't anything else that could replace it.

"H-harder," The ginger pleaded, the waves of pleasure shown on his face. Joshua was doing a good job. "Hmm?" The silverette withdrew from his uke, and began to move the smaller boy around. Neku ended up on his knees on the bed with his head laying down while Joshua knelt behind him, entering from there. For those few second that Josh wasn't in him, Neku felt a tug at his heart strings- he just didn't feel complete.

The same rhythm was intact soon enough, the bed squeaked louder from beneath their bodies. Neku hummed, purred and moaned in ecstasy as the two became one. Joshua thrusted faster and harder, trying to find Neku's prostate. That spot liked to hide, Josh recalled, as it always feel likes in a different position.

The ginger longed for his companion's lips on his. Neku wanted to be kissed, and he didn't care if it was messy. Then, he decided that when they switched positions again, he would do so.

However, Joshua was nearing his climax. Something that he didn't want, not just yet. How, he thought, can I not cum yet? He had heard different methods but none of them seemed to work. Neku will just have to finish last then.

As he found a particular spot that felt different, he pressed against it, causing his uke to gasp and moan louder. Found it, can't hide from me, dear. Joshua thrusted harder, causing Neku to clench his muscles and groan loudly. With each pump, The Composer thought that he would have his release in a few minutes. The tighter Neku became, the harder it was not to just cum inside.

Yes, he had done that before. As sneaky as Joshua is, he wanted to fill Neku up with more cream later. This is it! Joshua moaned, pulling his big hardened cock and pumped it vigorously He rubbed his head against Neku's entrance.

A warm sticky fluid squirted from the tip, it coated Neku's hole. Joshua had rubbed it all around the pink hold of tightness and continued to ride out his orgasm. Neku shook, a warmth came over him, filling his stomach and heart. He knew he did good, he satisfied his lover.

After Joshua finished, he turned his Proxy around and began sucking him off. It wasn't fair if he had left Neku all hot and bothered without a release. The ginger grinned, moaning as Joshua's tongue formed circles on his shaft and licked all the way back up again. He gently finger combed the Composer's hair. When it came to, he pulled his penis from Josh's mouth with a pop and slid his own hand up and down his shaft.

Joshua stuck his tongue out, helping Neku get closer over the edge. Those brilliant eyes closed, as he pumped what he had onto Joshua. It was sweet, and quite warm. The silverette tried to catch his uke's cum in his mouth. Some of it had squirted on his face but that was fine.

He took Neku's member into his mouth one more to lick off any remaining cum. Of course he had swallowed, which made the end of Neku's climax complete.

Joshua slid up on the bed, resting his head on the bed, panting a little. Neku had done the same, but his breathing was more ragged.

When the ginger caught his breath, he turned to Josh, "Did you notice anything different?"

The Composer giggle, "Why, you have gotten better. It was quite surprising." He teased, his violet eyes slowly closing, but opening quickly. "Have you been reading those magazines that Eri has?"

Neku flushed, but his afterglow only made him look cuter in Joshua's head. "N-no!" When he realized what he was gonna say was worse, he tried to make it sound not as bad. "I just.. tried something new." He mumbled, not wanting to admit that he spent his time watching porn and reading girly articles about making their sex life better.

Joshua hummed, "If you say so, hehe." He pulled the thin sheets over their naked bodies and cuddled up to his Proxy. "I must say,_ your sugar has gotten sweeter_ from what I last remember."

Neku chuckled, "Pineapples." He yawned, "Can we just sleep til this afternoon? I'm tired... and quit pointing out things like that!" It was obvious that he was flustered, and he buried his face in th pillow but peeked a cerulean eye at Joshua.

In response, he couldn't hold back his cheeky yet girly giggle, "All right~" He sang in a whisper. "Sleep, Neku. We'll probably spend the day here at home today." His eyes fluttered shut as well.

**_And stay at home, they did._**


	3. Alternate Reality: The End of It All

Just a little something that popped in my head. It made me sad, I felt like screaming and such. Hehe, it's more angst, hurt/comfort.

Trigger warning: Suicide (and a bad attempt at a violent scene).

* * *

Everything had lost it's meaning. This once colorful world faded to monotone grey. Even his will to live ended.

**His best friend..**

It was more than that though, something much more. But Neku didn't allow it. Now was the real question; did he ascend or is he permanently erased? This shattered Neku's heart.

Even Shibuya's Music had changed. It used to be so soothing. Bu Neku felt like it was out of place. It was too upbeat, it didn't match the surround city.

_It was because of her._

Neku hadn't personally seen the fight, but he knew that she wasn't overall powerful. Where did the erased go away? Were they just spirits floating around, or were they consumed in eternal darkness? This made him shudder.

One thing didn't add up, Joshua was really powerful. How could he let_ her_ win? One reason that the Proxy could think of is that he was tired of living.. or well, _unliving_. This hurt Neku, was he too cold on the ex-Composer?

Even CAT's murals had been painted over with vibrant colors. Neku knew that this wasn't Shibuya, it was this girl's dream world. Though it made people more irritable, she didn't care about them.

A selfish Composer, Neku kept telling himself,_ her_ Producer isn't doing their job right. He recalled how he was told. It was two weeks ago. Two weeks of heartbreak, that is.

_It was Thursday. Neku had finished school, but he knew that air was different. He decided to go investigate. Why would Joshua abruptly change Shibya's theme?_

_He headed straight to WildKat. Of course, he didn't return home. As he passed through Miyashita Park, the teen suddenly felt sick. Instead of turning back, he continued. Cat street wasn't busy, as usual, but it was off. Neku couldn't place his finger on it right away._

_As he approached the cafe, he gasped. It was boarded up. The windows, the door and was even being painted pink. Why pink of all colors, Neku grumbled, that doesn't fit Mr. H, Josh. Seeing as he couldn't inside, no matter how he tried, he had to travel to the other side of Shibuya and check Dead God's Pad. Groaning, Neku didn't want to go all the way, but his curiosity kept him moving._

_He passed by Sunshine after an hour or two, as he lost track of time, and bolted to the Station Underpass. The smell didn't bother him anymore, he was growing used to it the more he visited. He ran through the sewers and busted the foor open of the Pad._

_This wasn't like Joshua. Everything was pastel colors, fluffy, and cute. Joshua may be girly, but he wouldn't go overboard with this. Neku stared in horror, even Kitaniji's bar was gone!_

_All of a sudden, a small girl stood in front of him. She wore a pink hoodie with heart ears on the hood with beady bracelets. Her eyes were a lighter blue than Neku's own. He hair was mostly blonde, but where it parted to the side, the smaller half was died lavander. "Who are you?!" She pouted, the girl twirled around. "I'm sooo like, busy at the moment. I don't know how many people know of this place every. Now, leave."_

_Neku frowned and bent over so they were eye to eye. Damn, she was short. How old was she? "No, who are you? I'm looking for the Composer. I know, and have played the Game before."_

_Her eyes widened and the dawn of realization appeared on her face. "Oh." She avoided his eyes, a wicked smile on her face. "I'm Atarashi Koko, the Composer. I'm just getting settled in. You know, it's rare to meet an ex-Player."_

_This killed Neku. It came to him. __There can't be two Composers.__ "So what happened to-" He was shouting now, his voice filled with panic and rage._

_She took a few steps back, a smug grin still held and gazed sharply at the boy. "Yoshiya Kiryu? Ah, yes.. what a weak opponent." She giggled darkly. "His reign is over. He wasn't worthy. That boy made Shibuya boring. What a drama queen.__** He was easy to erase.**__" Koko glared with an insane smirk, this made Neku numb._

_"Leave, I have nothing to do with you. I need to prepare for the next game."_

_Neku dashed out of there. He didn't care whether he stepped in mud, water or even the streets. All he had to do was run. Yoshiya was dead? No, that can't be! Neku was screaming in his mind. The tears formed and ran down his face._

_People stared, they glared and they watched him run. Neku didn't stop. The colors of the city drained, leaving his world black and white again. Joshua had been erased. His heart felt heavy and it hurt so much that he wanted to rip it out. It even felt like there was blood building iun his throat, so he screamed to stop it._

_He just burst through the living room when he got home, raced to his room and slammed the door. He yelled, screamed and sobbed for what seemed to be hours._

_When the teen seemed to calm down, he sat up, and on his bedside table.. sat a white feather. His eyes lit up but immediately fell. It was Joshua's feather, one from his wings. He cradled the soft memory, the only thing Neku had left except for memories._

Each day had gotten worse. Neku cut more, he became more distant again, he stopped talking to his friends. He wanted to die really badly.

Life without Joshua wasn't a life worth living.

He missed Joshua's scent, his flirting, the way he'd annoy him, the way his eyes sparkled when he got excited, his prissy attitude, even those soft lips. Neku regret pushing him away several times. They only kissed once or twice.

Eventually it became too much. He became so depressed so quickly that his parents drugged him up on pills. That didn't help at all.

Now, he stood by his death bed. This time, he was going to do it and succeed. Neku had written a letter for people to read after his suicide.

* * *

**To who ever will read this,**

**I was happy a while ago. Life was great. Until it ripped me apart. My best friend, Joshua was killed. Even my friend, a barista, died too. They helped me out of my depression. I was close to them. But now that they're gone, why should I live? I don't want to anymore, it's meaningless. I know that many would say that I have my future ahead of me, but I don't have one without them. So my depression has gotten worse. My cuts are deeper, my will to live has vanished. Why live on and suffer if you can be dead and be happier? Yeah, that's how I see it. So that's why I did it. I'm free now, I succeeded this time. I'm put out of my misery. Don't be upset, I'll be okay. I will be reunited with the two whome changed me for the better. I'm sorry parentals for not being a better son- for being mentally insane and not being able to get better. For the very few friends I have, thank you for being there. It didn't seem much, but it helped keep me healthy. I'm sorry that I hurt you by taking my own life. Please, try to understand, I'm doing what's right.**

**Farewell,**

**Neku**

* * *

He held the letter tightly, grabbing a handful of pills. They were assorted; antidepressants, Advil, sleeping pills and such. He had two handfuls to swallow, that counted three bottles of pills altogether. Neku hesitated, frowning slightly. His body suddenly became cold.

He thought it was his imagination. In front of the ginger stood another boy with a faint glow. Same silver locks, same violet eyes. Neku shook his head, and his began to tear up. Joshua's spirit was watching.

Josh sighed, _"Please dear, don't do this."_ He pleaded, which was odd._ "Shibuya and everybody needs you. You can do it."_

Neku choked on his words, "No, not without you. I can't.." The ginger cried harder, holding the pills. "I need to be free. There's no reason to be alive anymore."

Joshua didn't say anything, he known Neku's whole plan._ "...If that's what you want."_ He bit his lip, _"I don't want to see you die in a bloody way, please, don't scar you're beautiful body."_

Neku wanted to, but now that he heard that, he felt like he couldn't. "Okay.." He croaked out, "I'll just take the pills." Joshua smiled, sincerely for once. "After that, I'll be gone. My heart will stop... Then I'll be happy."

Joshua nodded, fading away._ "I'll wait for you. Don't make me wait, Neku."_ A small smile and then he was gone. The ginger forced all those pills down his throat, taking them with water. Underneath his bed was a chef's knife from his past attempts. Neku couldn't help it. He needed to, this was going to end anyway.

Pinking the sharp object up, he cut deeper than he has done before, almost to the bone. The blood dripped everywhere, on his drawings and clothes. Did he care? Not at all. He even pushed the tip into his stomach so he lost even more blood. It stung, but it didn't hurt. He was already that numb. He wiped blood all over himself, and laid back down. In his right, he held the knife. In his left was the letter. His sapphires dulled into a dusty hue, and his eyes closed. He was breathing very quietly.

Joshua didn't necessarily trust Neku on his word. Just to be sure, he reappeared and gasped in horror at the mess. He mumbled things to himself, and put his ear on Neku's chest. His breaths became more shallow, his blood was flowing everywhere. Eventually his heartbeat slowed down so much that it only lasted seconds before it was still.

Tears brimmed his eyes, Joshua couldn't believe that Neku was dead now. Would he be in eternal darkness, or ascend to heaven? Normally, the Higher Plane doesn't accept suicides, or ex-Players who have broken rules of the Game. All he had to do was wait.

* * *

It was several hours after Neku's death that Joshua was wandering around in circles. He couldn't breathe, what if Neku never showed up? He died so they could be together. That would be true hell for the both of the boys.

It felt like time stood still, he didn't bother watch how his friend's and family would react, the thought alone created too much heartache. Joshua sighed, not knowing what to do. Being fully dead was worse than being undead.

Suddenly arms had snaked around his neck from behind. Yoshiya almost jabbed the intruder with an elbow to the gut but he had turned around first.

**Blue met purple.**

**Orange met silver.**

_**Lips met another pair.**_

Neku had been accepted into heaven? Joshua didn't care, and just enjoyed their kiss. He was back, that's all he wanted.

When he pulled back, he admired Neku more than ever before. "You're actually here?"

The smaller chuckled, "Now you know what it was like to wait at Hachiko for you. But I waited longer."

Joshua beamed, his Proxy was with him in the afterlife, that's all he wanted. "How did you get here?"

Neku grinned, _"I have connections."_

"Sanae?"

"Well duh, he's back to his regular Angel status again, Josh."

Joshua smirked, "Now you can never escape from me, Nekky."

"Don't call me that!" Neku blushed, holding a heavy pout. Joshua pecked him on the lips, muttering about something along the lines of looking cute which cause Neku to roll his eyes. Whatever, he thought. "Say, tell me why Koko became Composer?"

Joshua hesitated. This suprised Neku, he was used to the smug Joshua. "Well, let's see.."

**What Neku didn't realize that because of his death, Shibuya was spiraling towards destruction. Koko didn't know how to deal with it, so they had already felt destroyed before the existance of Shibuya and everybody in it were gone. It was hopeless.**


	4. Lost without You

Everytime the teen fell, he'd be there.

Everytime he'd forget his purpose, he'd be there.

Everytime he felt alone, he'd be there.

Everytime Neku cried, Joshua was right beside him.

**Always.**

Ever since the Game, every time Neku felt like the world hated him, Joshua would be there for him. But Neku had conflicted feelings, didn't he hate him for what he did? The pain, the torture, the betrayal- all of it, wasn't it enough to hate somebody's own existence? Of it course it was.

However, the Proxy felt like his Composer was the only one who understood him to the core. That, he was grateful for. Never in his life had he actually felt like he mattered to somebody. Now that somebody was Yoshiya Kiryu, the ruler of Shibuya.

But something changed, Joshua changed. For a few weeks, he hadn't showed up. Neku searched for the silverette everywhere, he couldn't leave Shibuya anyway. Much to his dismay, the sign of him being around had vanished. Whenever he tried to enter Wildkat, the doors were locked. The Proxy knew that Sanae would never lock it.

_He came to the conclusion that something wasn't right._

The boy began to fall to pieces. He couldn't think straight, he could no longer pretend to be happy, his cuts became deeper with each swipe, his heart longed for his best friend. Wasn't it much more than that, Joshua hadn't cared about somebody this much before, has he? The thoughts circled in his head.

Seconds seemed like minutes, minutes turned into hours, hours became days. This tugged on his heartstrings, they made him build up an internal wall to the world. Neku Sakuraba became numb.

He missed school, he didn't eat, he was cutting more often. Whenever the red sticky liquid seeped from under his skin, the ginger remained unmoved; it was neither exciting to the boy. He could have turned to crimes and drugs, but even that took too much energy.

Sulking became his life. Wasn't he like this before? Yes, before everything; before the dying, before the Game, before learning how to trust, before Joshua.

How funny, he had once thought, he had changed for the better, but where was Joshua now? He simply left without a word. What was he, just another toy to his collection? That's pathetic, he had thought he was actually important for once.

His suffering didn't end. His parents became "concerned" with his health that they sent their son to a mental ward. Big mistake. Not only did the doctors drug him up on pills, it had made his depression worse. Neku desperately used any sharp object to cut him.

What a mess he had become.

_But was this his fate, his destiny?_

His round face sunken in, his cheeks were bony. Now his body was so frail that it made him seem healthy from before. Neku didn't mind how he looked, he was just tired of it all.

What if Joshua ever came back? What a fat chance, he never would want to see a failure like me, thought Neku.

Not only had he shut everybody out, he had given up on trying. Trying to live, trying to get better, trying to believe in the Composer, those things had lost meaning. None of them mattered, Neku didn't matter anymore.

He was forced to walk around the ward for exercise, an IV was the only thing keeping the teen alive. Many times had the nurses caught him trying to sever the plastic tubes. Why did they insist of keeping him alive and suffer?

Eventually, Neku gave up drawing. Art meant nothing, it only stung his heart more. He had forgotten a ton of things, not only had he stopped talking, the ginger slowly seized to communicate at all.

He was stuck in bed, watching the sun rise and set, they eventually stopped trying to get him to eat. In desperate efforts to keep him digesting food, they had inserted a tube through his nose and it ran down his throat and rest in his stomach. Neku kept trying to rip it out but gave up once he realized how stubborn these people were.

As of lately, the extremely skinny boy (due to purging) barely had energy to move. Was this how he would die for good? No more Games, no more Joshua.

This was good, he had smiled for once, this world will eventually fade to black, nothing will be better. The doctors forced him to socialize with the other patients.

With his wall up, he just dismissed them. There was this fragile girl who kept trying. She was the complete opposite, but she was the same on the inside. Her name was Ouka.

The petite female had long violet hair, it was so light that he had mistaken it for an eggshell white. However, her eyes were a vibrant green. They say her eyes turn icy blue when she's angry.

He didn't let her in but she had talked about herself. She was anorexic, battling her disability wasn't an easy task. Neku could relate, but the ginger didn't budge.

This hasn't changed for the last three days. However, Neku started eating again. He didn't eat a whole lot, his stomach didn't particularly agree with his decision with food.

Here, Neku sat at a round table, watching the other teens chatter and idly watch the day go by. Ouka was sitting at the same table, coloring in her picture.

She was humming to herself, a song that she had heard another patient singing. The song was quite dark, it told the tale of a dream killing people called Alice's in Wonderland. The girl who originally was heard singing it had a blood lust, no surprise there.

Neku glanced over to Ouka, the lavenderette smiled and showed him her picture. "It's us when we leave here!" The girl was quite optimistic, but didn't understand the concept that some were never going to leave; or well, Neku thought he wasn't.

The ginger grunted in response. The younger's eyes widened, "You responded! That's great!" Her smile was wider, "So, can you tell me your name?" He had hesitated, they were acquainted enough, so wouldn't it be okay? Neku hadn't spoken a word to her before, but she stayed by his side. Most of their communication were through letters.

"Neku." He has kept it quiet. The others didn't really bother with him, they called him mysterious. It wouldn't be fun to suddenly solve the mystery with one word.

The girl giggled, "Nice to finally meet you Neku!" Her attitude reminded him so much of Shiki. Wasn't the brunette upset about his sudden actions? Speaking of, none of his 'friends' had come and see him at all. Was this a bad thing? Not necessarily, he figured that they would just continue on without him.

He nodded and sat up, his eyes scanning the room. He was no longer to scan their thoughts, as he couldn't bring his Player Pin with him. This didn't mean that he couldn't see Players and Reapers, they still lingered around. Perhaps that was the consequence of being a survivor from the Game. Seeing erasure didn't faze him as much as it used to, it just felt like a normal thing. He understood Joshua a little more now.

Did that really matter now? The Composer didn't care. "Yeah." He was a boy of few words. He just leaned back in his chair.

A bubbly blonde spun around, giggling with her friends. He knew who she was, she was the murderer. That girl had the face of an angel but the heart of a demon. She had killed her brother and best friend because she had caught them together. Her name is Aria, but she changed her name to Arisu- this is the one who taught Ouka the song.

Beside her stood Toma, he appeared to be a normal rocker/skater boy. He was a schizo, and often talked to different 'people' that his parents became scared. He would talk to beings that don't exist in the UG, so Neku knew that he did have a condition.

Finally, there was Riru. She was a ballerina at one point. Eventually, things became too much and she attempted suicide. She was quiet, but some days that she'd be going on a rampage. Whenever that happened, an emergency sedate team would be called into the ward and drug her.

There were others around, but Neku didn't know much about them. Apparently Ouka used to be alone before the Proxy had appeared.

The ginger made his way to his room without being noticed. He pulled his IV along with him, and shut his room door. The moment he had turned around, his face fell.

_Joshua._

WHat did he want to do first? Yelling seemed like an excellent option, but the bastard could just disappear and make things worse for Neku. Punching was another, oh how he would feel much better when his fist crashes into the silverette's flesh. The choices were endless.

But what did he do?

Neku sobbed.

Tears had stung his eyes, the pain his heart had soaked in spilled at once. His stomach felt empty, he shook uncontrollably while he cried. Joshua would have normally raised his eyebrow in confusion but this time he approached the broken teen. Neku had fallen to the floor, his hands covered his face and he didn't care how the other would react.

Joshua frowned, this was what happened to Neku for the time being? He hadn't known, in all honesty. If he had, he would have fought harder to return. Those Angels were tricky, he didn't comprehend why they chose to do what they did.

Once Neku felt the other kneel beside him he glared at him and the palm of his hand had made contact with his cheek. Joshua didn't say anything. The loud smack had made the situation more intense.

A low growl emit from Neku's throat, "How dare you show your face!" His eyes flickered darkly, "Don't ever come back." Joshua wasn't surprised; seven months later, Neku had turned for the worst. The silverette remained calm. "Say something, you asshole!" Neku's voice was raising, and even Yoshiya knew that he shouldn't be messing around right now.

But where would he start? Sorry Neku, the Higher Ups needed me. Of course not! That would make things worse. Time to cut the smug act. Those violet eyes were obviously painted with hurt and regret, but he has to stay calm for his Proxy's sake. "Well, where do you want me to begin?"

Neku scoffed, was he really going to do this? Now of all times? "Why did you disappear?! Why did you leave me when I needed you the most? Look at where it had placed me! I thought that I meant something, but no. I'm nothing but a toy, always have been. I.. I even loved you." He could have carried on, but those were the answers that he was desperately searching for.

A stab to the heart. Joshua was unsure of how to react, he hadn't felt that way in the longest time. Falling in love was one of the hardest things for the demi-god.

He sighed, rubbing his temples, "Things have been rough with the Higher Ups. I had to go otherwise-"

"No you didn't! You could have at least came back and told me what was happening!" Neku's voice cracked, he sounded more broken than when Josh first found him.

How did this seem so bad? He didn't mean any of this to happen, and he certainly didn't want to make Neku wore. But what could he do; sugar coat his words? No. That would almost be like lying to him. They both knew that Neku wasn't going to get out of here anytime soon. "I'm afraid not, dear. If I had, I would have been executed for such actions." He whispered gently, not daring to absorb this dying image of Neku before his eyes. "Things are more strict than you think, Neku. I had to be kept away for six months."

This enraged Neku, "Six months?! Where were you a month ago then?" He had gotten up from the floor, approaching his hospital bed. The rolling IV along the floor reminded both of them how awful the moment was. Once he was sitting in bed, the ginger threw a light sheet over his legs, hiding how malnurished he had become. "I thought that you'd never come back."

The Composer pulled up a comfy chair, respecting Neku of his space. "I had to prepare for the next few games. To put it simply, I was put to a test. The Angels didn't believe that I was suitable to keep my job." He had flipped his curly hair, glancing at his nails. Neku knew that he put on a facade the snotty attitude was hard to ditch in situations such as this. "I showed them wrong. During this time, all who should have played in the Games are put.. what you could call, 'on hold' until I had come back." He nonchantly explained. Neku just listened, he thought of all those Souls that were trapped in the UG, waiting for the game to start. "In a week, the Game will begin. Shibuya is going to have over 500 players, but to make it fair, only 8 can come back. I'm going to be really busy during this time."

Neku tilted his head, "But what about your Conductor? Kitaniji was erased, wasn't he?" Joshua nodded once immediately. Neku was still dumbfounded on who the Conductor was. Certainly it wasn't Kariya, Uzuki maybe? Definitely not Minamimoto, he wanted to murder Josh.

Joshua giggled, "That's handled. They have imported a high quality Reaper from Shinjuku to take on the job. She's responsible enough to handle a job such as this. So now I won't have to go through all that dreaded paperwork."

Neku stayed silent. What else could he say? "Oh." The word wasn't even supposed to slip past his lips. Joshua held uncertainty in his gaze. Of course he would, who wouldn't? Neku had a million things to say but no where to begin. Would it be better if it was angsty comments first then tone it down to cheesy 'i missed you' remarks? No, not at all.

His desires were kept away in his heart, never would he actually mention to Joshua. It would make things worse, perhaps making the Composer himself a little uncomfortable. Neku knew that he wasn't suitable for the job, so why should he mention why he was jealous of that Reaper girl, the new Conductor? A reason was that because she would spend much more time with Josh than he would. What if a relationship bloomed between them? What would be of Neku?

Joshua raised an eyebrow, "Is that all you have to say?" The ginger knew that revealing too much will complicate things. Instead, he just shook his head, it wouldn't hurt to say a little, would it? "Then what is it?"

The Proxy bit his bottom lip, "I just want to get out of here. I want things to go back to normal." It was very vague, as that could mean a lot of things, but that was the point. Joshua nodded slowly, placing his hands on his knees and standing up.

"I see. Well, I have to get back to WildKat, Sanae needs to discuss our future options. I'll come back again." A pause, Neku wasn't so happy with what he had said so far anyway. "Can you get better, for me? _I really don't like seeing my dear, dear Proxy in this condition._" He giggled and gave a small wave. "Ciao, dear."

Neku's heart had fluttered, so maybe his hopes weren't all gone just yet. He now would be focused on healing and getting out of this dying place. Not for Ouka, not for Joshua, not for anybody but himself. Thankfully he had people who had faith still.

**Neku Sakuraba wasn't going to be a mental case anymore.**

* * *

Okay, I think this has been going pretty good so far. This oneshot might actually get a sequel, if I'm feeling like it. R&R!


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